


a cold heartbeat

by artisttsitra03



Series: my heartbeat [1]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Anger, Blood, Confusion, F/F, Mental Health Issues, they talk about calming down a lot, uhm idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 22:09:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4279749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artisttsitra03/pseuds/artisttsitra03
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She’s rocking back and forth, letting out low and quick breaths. “I just need you to wake up.”</p><p>Asuka can almost hear Mari’s voice in the back of her head saying, “That makes two of us Princess.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	a cold heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> all of this is happening right after the third impact of 3.33

            _Shit, shit, shit, shit._ Mari grunts as her chest suddenly feels heavy. Her left arm feels a bit funky, but actually, her entire body feels a bit funky. She crawls, using her right arm to drag her body. Short quick breaths follow after, her grip becomes weak. “Oh for God’s sake,” Mari croaks, her voice tired and rough. Coughing, Mari turns her head only to feel pain shoot through her neck. Wincing from the throbbing in the back of her head, she spits out blood, and wedges herself up.

           Mari flinches as she leans her head back, her body freezing as the pain shoots throughout her body. She lets out a low breath, her body tense, as she tries to place her arm in a more comfortable position. “Princess is going to have a good look at me, heh?” She softly says. She can feel the blood streaming down the side of her cheek, the numbness that lingers in her legs, the pain shooting through her arm. Mari lets a quiet hum out from the back of her throat, it’s an old melody. Gritting her teeth, she closes her eyes, letting the melody loo her to sleep.

-

           Two days.

           It’s been two days without any contact from WILLE – from anyone – from Mari. Asuka clenches her jaw, tightening her grip on Shinji’s wrist. She looks in the corner of her eye to see the sight of him as the usual. Head slumped and body barely able to walk. _It’s your fault, it’s your fault, it’s all your fucking goddamn fault._ Asuka says, her mind going towards anger, an emotion she depends on now. She roughly pulls at his arm, only making him stumble forward. “Come on, I don’t want you to slow me down.” Asuka’s voice is hoarse from screaming and yelling.

           Her fingers begin to dig into his arm, rage radiating off Asuka’s body. “You really screwed up this time, killing everything in your path just to have it your way.” She turns and looks at him, taking a step closer to him. She looks over his shoulder to find Rei who is meters behind, slowly walking towards them.

           Shinji slowly looks up at her, silent as always.

           “You really did it this time, and I bet you even enjoyed every single second of it. I don’t even know what I’m doing with you and your puppet friend, I’m just wasting my time is all. But who knows what will happen when I leave you alone again, maybe you’ll do something even worse than before.”

           Shinji lunges forward as Asuka continues to drag them forward. He can’t hear anything anymore, not since the dying sound of Kaworu’s voice. Shinji quietly trembles, his lips forming the name, only to let his head fall into his other hand.

           Cursing and mumbling under her breath, Asuka simply drags without looking back at him. They continue to travel, the sun scorching their backs as they limp across the red earth.

            She decides to let go of his wrist, both of them abruptly coming to a halt. Shinji’s body immediately falls to the ground, heavy and tired from the weight of the world. He stares at the red soil, everything reminding him of blood – of his blood – of Kaworu. Shinji doesn’t feel the need for anything now, all he wants is to die, to rot away.

           Holding a hand over her eye, she looks up at the sun. The sun’s a few hands past from the highest point of the day, meaning it’s sometime in the evening. Glancing over her shoulder, Asuka finds the clone of Rei meters behind them, her feet dragging along the red sand. She sighs, rubbing her right eye at the same time.

           The sky’s full of clouds, but it’s not much to shield the heat radiating off from the sun. She looks back forward, only to see more red earth ahead of her. Letting out a heavy breath, Asuka grabs Shinji’s arm and pulls him forward. They have to keep moving, they must keep moving.

           Time on the red planet seems to move slowly.

           They walk for hours, Asuka’s hand barely able to keep a grip on his arm even. There’s faint pants from Asuka as she lets her arm fall to her side, her hands clasping to her knees. Bending over her knees, she spits to the side, her mouth feeling no different. Smacking her lips together, she straightens herself up, making a face as she tasted dry earth on them.

Looking up in front of them, Asuka notices higher land, just a small hill ahead of them. Taking a small step forward, she begins to journey up the hill, her toes digging into the earth for support while her fingers grip it. Her legs feel heavy, her body feels weak, and her mind feels messy. But as she climbs up, the view is a beauty to her. Asuka stands up, her arms loosely at her side as she slowly blinks in the realization of what’s in front of her.

           It’s one hell of a sight for some sore eyes.

           EVA Unit 08.

            _Thump thump._

           Asuka feels her hands clench into a fist as she realizes the damage the EVA took. The damage looks atrocious, broken armor ripped from the Unit, and just an overall awkward landing for the EVA.  At the hands of it, there’s raw burn marks from the finger tips that follows all the way up to the forearm. But overall, it’s in better condition than Asuka’s EVA, and it’s Unit 08, meaning – Mari’s inside.

            She looks over her shoulder once more, finding Rei standing beside Shinji, who’s crumpled into his knees with his head resting within his hands. “Don’t do anything fucking stupid you two, I’m going to go ahead.” Asuka hollers, not bothering to care if they heard her or not.

            _Thump thump._

            Rushing down the hill, Asuka feels her heart begin to race. She shouldn’t be feeling this anxious, let alone hurrying down the hill. But of all people, it’s Mari. The fucking idiot who became her partner, who wanted to be her partner, who supported her – was somewhere in the goddamn wreckage.

            The closer Asuka gets she realizes that the cockpit is standing up with the hatch wide open. She feels her eyes widen, but only for an instant. Her heart continues to race in her chest as she closes in the distance.

           Holding her breath, Asuka takes a peek into cockpit. “Hey Four-eyes, I finally found you.”

            Mari is slumped against the wall, her body wrapped in first aid bandages. She doesn’t look up, unresponsive. Her hair is a complete wreck, her twin pony tails untied. Asuka realizes that blood from her head seeped through the bandages making her brows crease, her crossed arms tightening. “Hey,” Asuka murmurs, taking a dangerous step closer to Mari. “After four days of being alone in this piece of shit, you won’t even acknowledge me? Hmm, some way of being a partner.”

            Mari’s still unresponsive, she’s completely silent.

            _Tch._

           Asuka steps over Mari’s legs, squatting down. Closing her eyes, she draws in a long breath through her nose and slowly releases it. Opening them, Asuka begins her observation of the damage Mari fully took. She’s seen her in a worse situation, but that’s only after medical treatment. Without the equipment here, Asuka doesn’t know whether Mari even has internal injuries or not – _four-eyes damnit, what did you even do to yourself? What kind of impact did you fucking take on?_

           Seeing her covered in blood makes Asuka’s stomach twist into knots. Her plug suit barely holds the color of pink, her the red liquid covering most of it. She’s not supposed to be sitting in her own blood.

            The question is – where did all of this blood come from?

            Asuka takes a look at Mari’s body, her mouth barely open. Then, for a moment, her body freezes, her hands beyond shaking. _Wait, i-is she d-dead?_ Mari’s chest isn’t rising, and Asuka feels her breath catch in her throat, her chest beginning to feel heavy. Softly grabbing her chin, Asuka slightly tilts Mari upwards only to find her eyes closed. Her breathing is on edge, her fingers gently cupping Mari’s face, they fit so well around her cheeks.

            _Thump thump._

            There’s blood.

            There’s bruises.

            There’s scratches.

            Asuka can’t take it. She feels sick. Moving her hand down to her throat, she checks for any sign of a pulse. Asuka’s shaking fingers takes a couple of seconds before they’re calm again. Holding two fingers out, she feels it.

           There’s a small pulse, but it’s a pulse.

           Her other hands go up to move the hair around her face. Most of the blood on Mari came from the side of her head. There’s so much of it on her, that it’s made her bandages not even white anymore. The way she gave treatment to herself is god-awful, the wrapping of the bandages looks as if they’ve been done by a child.

           Holding the side of her head, Asuka manually opens one Mari’s eyes, the deep blue eyes of hers now a dull, a greyish blue overcoming the iris inside. Letting go of her eye, Asuka moves around to the side which is of a heap of bloodied bandages wrapped around her head.

           Asuka sinks backwards, her head leaning against the wall. Her heart feels heavy inside her chest, the weight of this is collapsing on her shoulders. Asuka hates seeing herself like this. So weak – so vulnerable as she worries over some person that she’s only known for fourteen years.

           Fourteen years they’ve been together, fourteen years they’ve shared together with the constant arguments and reckless fights and meaningless conversations. This war they’ve been bearing through together, the moments where they barely got each other killed, the moments where they depended on each other.

            “She’s still alive,” Asuka whispers, scared to even say that. Raising her head, Asuka looked across from her, only to stare at Mari’s body, at her pathetic body.

           But what does she care? Mari is only vital to WILLE because she supports Asuka. She supports her even in stupid situations, smiling whilst being an absolute idiot. The only reason Asuka needs Mari alive is because she’s the best support she can rely on. Mari’s the only person who can support her. Asuka needs Mari to be alive, needs her to live on.

           She needs Mari.

           What feels like minutes turns into hours as Asuka sits across from Mari, carefully watching her movement. She observes Mari from a distance, noting each feature that she had always loosely overlooked before. Her glasses are broken, a piece from the right side missing. The stream of blood down her left cheek is dry and cracked. Her forehead is a sight of scratches, a long cut heaping down her left eye.

            _If Shinji hadn’t been a fucking idiot, none of this would have happened. If Misato wouldn’t have cared to get him back in the fucking first place, none of this would have happened. The Fourth Impact almost started because of fucking Shinji. He’s the fucking problem to everything. I fucking hate him, I hate him, I hate him._ Asuka clenches her jaw, her teeth gritting against each other. She tightens her grip around her knees, anger seething through her body.

           The sound of footsteps from outside makes her jump. Turning her head, she can hear them getting closer, quickly remembering that the two idiots are still out there. Letting out a slow breath, Asuka gathers to her feet, stepping out of the cockpit, the sunlight barely hitting her eye. Looking down, Asuka sees Rei observing up at her with Shinji standing beside her, Asuka narrows her eyes. “Hmm? What are you two doing?” Asuka hisses, her hands at her hips. Anger easily comes to Asuka when it’s needed.

           It’s pointless for her to even ask.

           Letting go of Shinji’s hand, Rei takes her eyes of Asuka and looks at the EVA with an empty soul. Shinji immediately falls to his knees again, looking pathetic as ever. Asuka rolls her eyes, not even able to watch him anymore. “Kaworu, I’m sorry,” he softly whispers, his head falling into his hands again. Rei steps forward, turning her head to take a look at the EVA.

           Asuka sighs, letting her arms fall to her side. “It’s about to get dark,” is all she says. The sun is barely riding the horizon, the warm temperature of the Red Earth about to disappear. She takes a step out of the cockpit and walks towards Shinji, tightly grabbing his collar of his plug suit. Grunting, she pulls him into the cockpit, throwing him to the other side. Rei silently follows after them, sitting beside Shinji, immediately meeting Asuka’s eyes, but only to turn them towards the pilot of Unit 08.

           As the three of them settle down in the cockpit, Asuka sits where she sat before, across from her partner, laying her eyes on her that reads every movement. Every once in a while, she checks Mari’s pulse, which is still live and pumping, but it won’t for much more longer, not in the conditions they’re in.

           The cold night on the red planet settles down, the temperature dropping within hours. Asuka looks in the corner of her eye, surprised to see the two pathetic beings asleep, their eyes closed.

           It’s a quiet night, something that Asuka hasn’t exactly experienced in several years. There’s nothing that would bother to make a sound on the planet, but the view is a hell of a kind. She looks over her shoulders, shifting in her position and takes a glance. There’s millions of the stars scattered across the midnight sky.

           Their starlight shines so brightly, the sight that Mari would always love to watch. The sight that she would wake Asuka in the middle of the night, just to see the goddamn stars. Asuka who was always reluctant about it, would be dragged with her, but not forced to watch them.

           She saw pity in the stars every time she laid her eyes on them.

           But they’re beautiful as Mari says, and that only made Asuka pity them even more.

-

            _I need you to wake up._

           Asuka slowly opens her eye, the sunlight immediately hitting her pupil. It was seeping through a small hole through the window blinds, and of all places, it manages to hit her fucking eye. She groans into her pillow, digging her face into it.

           Why couldn’t she sleep in fucking peace?

           Sighing, Asuka turns onto her back, looking at the ceiling, a single thought not even running through her mind. She raises a hand to touch her left eye, nothing covering it, leaving her to feel the raw and scarred skin close to her eye. Turning her head, Asuka stares at her clock, silently listening to the heartbeat within the clock, the ticking of the gears inside it as useless time went by.

           She could hear a heartbeat.

            _Thump thump._

           It’s only been a little over twenty four hours since a carrier from WILLE caught their signal – Mari’s signal. Hours later when they made contact with the rebels, WILLE’s mothership came down to rescue Unit 08 and to Asuka’s surprise, they were able to retrieve just a few scraps of Unit 02 from the destruction, but it was only parts of the body.

           Once they were picked up, Mari was taken immediately to the medical deck, and Asuka hasn’t seen her since. Good. She needed a break away from her, needed to get away from seeing her body in that condition. Asuka couldn’t handle it anymore, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t fight the war with her thoughts if she continued to look at Mari in blood.

           Asuka stayed in the shadows, away from everyone, she was done, she was done with absolutely everything. Seeing everything after the Fourth Impact was enough for Asuka, she needed a break. She quietly watched Misato and Ritsuko charge onto the deck, their breaths on fire as they walked over to Shinji and Rei.

           Shinji was collapsed on the floor while Rei stood next to him, her eyes reading everything about everything. Misato stood next to them, arms crossed, and her eyes glaring down at Shinji.

           “I want to die.” Shinji mutters.

           To die. To die and never have to live a life without Kaworu. To join death with Kaworu. He never longed for anything else more in his life than death itself.

           “You’re not going to die.” Misato snaps, mumbling wither curses.

           “I want to die,” he repeats.

           “Well guess what, you’re not going to fucking die! We’ve all been through shit Shinji and we can’t just decide to die, that’s not how it fucking happens, you hear?” Misato yells.

           Asuka stepped out of the shadows and turned her backs on them, walking to her room for peace and quiet. Her hands were clenched and anger seethed out of her body. _All you guys do is cause fucking trouble for everyone and get them killed. I hate you, I hate you, you can all go die!_

           Grunting, Asuka brings her legs to the edge of the bed, not ready to start this day off. It was a quiet morning, quieter than her usual ones. Mari would come – no, sneak into her room early in the morning and spend the start of the day with Asuka, but then again, she would be with her up until night arrived, and sometimes, Mari wouldn’t even go back to her own room.

           Standing up, she walks over to the bathroom sink, her hands gripping the edges of the counter. _Ugh._ Asuka takes in a slow breath, her hands beginning to tighten her grip, her knuckles beginning to grow white, and the pain not even bothering her. Asuka closes her eyes as she looks down at the floor, letting out the slow breath through her mouth. _What am I doing, why am I acting like this? I shouldn’t be like this, I shouldn’t act like a fucking weakling. Why am I doing this to myself?_

           Opening her eyes, she carefully observers herself in the mirror

            _Wake up._

           Asuka suddenly glances over her shoulder, her eyes veering from one side of the room to the other. Turning her head back, she looks down at the white tiles of the floor, slowly closing her eyes.

           “I’m not going insane, I’m _not_ going insane.”

           Asuka clenches her eyes shut, the heat rising throughout her body. Taking a step backwards, she feels her right heel hit the wooden frame of the bed. Asuka covers her ears, hearing the faint voice mocking her in the distance. It’s just lingering there, waiting to come back out. She throws herself into the bed, curling up into a ball, her hands still over her ears.

           “Get out of my head.” She cried, shaking her head. “Get out. Get out. Get out!”

            _You need to wake up._

           “What do you want from me? I’m awake, why are you stuck in my head telling me this bullshit? Get out!” Asuka shouts, continuing to shake her head, but includes her body. Next thing, Asuka begins to tremble, her muscles tight and in pain, her body weeping. “I don’t want to be weak,” she mutters, her breaths now staggering.

            _You need to get stronger._

           “Stop it! Stop telling me what to fucking do! I don’t take orders from anyone! I’m Asuka damnit, I can do things myself, I don’t need anyone, they’re just shit that’s always pulling me down. Just leave me alone!” Asuka screams, turning her head into the bed. She mumbles into the pillow, her voice muffled by the flat fake cotton.

           She’s rocking back and forth, letting out low and quick breaths. “I just need you to wake up.”

           Asuka can almost hear Mari’s voice in the back of her head saying, “That makes two of us Princess.”

-

           Asuka taps her foot on the floor, trying to keep her body still moving while her butt is becoming numb. This uncomfortable chair isn’t exactly doing Asuka any good, but it’s the only chair that’s across Mari’s room. She’s getting pretty impatient no – fucking pissed off – the nurses had made her wait for some time, and an hour has already went by. It’s only been a little over twenty nine hours and the medical team still needs time on her, how greedy.

           She looks at the clock, only to find out that minutes have passed by.

           Asuka begins to twirl her thumbs, tangling and untangling them around each other, her anger level rising by the seconds, and pretty soon, she’s going to start yelling at some people. _Is Mari that injured? How much damage did she fucking get hit with?_ Asuka lets out a small breath through her nose and shoves her hands into the pockets of her jacket. She shouldn’t be this worried – she shouldn’t be worried at all, but she is, and that’s the worst part of all of this.

           Asuka jumps in her seat when the door abruptly opens, the doctor walking out.

           “Ah, Asuka, you’re here, I didn’t think you would come see her so soon.” She said, her voice sounding tired.

           Asuka narrows her eyes at her, and slouching back further into the seat. _What do you mean, so soon?_ She stares down at the floor, not wanting to look at anything, yet alone the eyes of the doctor that always hints of death and emptiness.

           “Anyways, I’m glad I’m able to tell you this in person rather than Misato telling you. Asuka,” the voice becoming more annoying to her at each passing second.

           She lets out a groan. _Stop saying my name, and tell me damnit._

            “Mari is in a bit of bad situation at the moment, her-“

           “Define your meaning of ‘bad’.” The words quickly slip out of Asuka’s mouth before she even realizes it, leaving her expression frozen.

           Asuka looks up at the doctor, her hands clenching into a fist inside her pockets, her fingers nails digging into her skin. Their eyes meet, and Asuka doesn’t plan on looking away.

           “Asuka,” The doctor pauses, hesitant about their next few words.

           “Go on.” She demands, watching as the doctor looks away, her body becoming uncomfortable in this situation.

           They release a heavy sigh, literally pissing Asuka off. “Mari is in critical condition. We don’t exactly know how it happened, but from the damage she took from the fall inside the EVA, she got hit.”

           Asuka bites her lip, looking back down at the ground.

           “She’s in a coma right now, and we don’t know when she’ll wake up again.”

           Asuka stands up, and walks towards the door brushing her shoulders with the doctor, quickly realizing that she’s been holding her breath, and exhales.

           “I’ll make sure to tell the nurses to give you two some time to yourselves.”

           She stands there silently as the doctor walks away, her footsteps becoming fainter. Her hand grips the handle of the door, tightening as each second passes. It takes Asuka a minute or two before she decides that she’s ready. Grunting, she opens the door, her eye dark and cold as she walks in. She hears the door shut behind her, and her presence is quickly recognized by the nurses standing in the room.

           Her feet stay implanted from where she came in as the nurses walk past her, leaving her and Mari in the room alone. She stays still and silent, her breathing low and quiet. Looking up, Asuka sees Mari laying in a bed straight across from the door, her limbs wrapped as if a cocoon. Her eyes are closed, her twin tails aren’t tied leaving her hair to fall over her shoulders.

           Her glasses sit on the counter beside her, broken and chipped. It sinks her heart, realizing that she’s not even Mari anymore. Her heaping cut down her left eye is stitched up, scratches around it. The blood around her head is gone, thank gosh, and her old bandages replaced with fresh new ones.

           Clenching her jaw, Asuka takes a small step towards a seat beside Mari’s bed and takes a plop into it, hearing the cushion make a noise.

           Asuka lets out a slow deep breath through her nose, unsure on what to exactly do in this situation. But she can hear Mari’s humming voice in the back of her head, tempting Asuka to say something to her. “You know Princess, talking to someone even if they’re not important can help, like me! I shall be the Royal Highness’s loyal servant, dependable, I will do what is ordered!”

            _Thump thump._

           “Great, even though you’re in a coma I still have your fucking voice in my head telling me what to do.” Asuka utters, her voice low and quiet. There’s minutes of silent, the only sound in the room is Mari’s heart rate machine, a beeping passing every few seconds.

           “Oh please Princess, I’ve never had the power over you to tell you what to do, we both know that.”

           “What did you do yourself? All you were to do was take care of the EVA that Shinji was inside of, you didn’t have to go and get yourself killed.”

           Asuka imagines Mari smirking at her, crossing her arms simply shrugging the comment off. “I’m not dead, am I?”

           Her jaw clenches, her fist tightens, her head fumbles around becoming messy. “Why am I even here,” she mutters, raising her hand to rub her eye. Of all places in this ship, Asuka just had to come to this very room and make herself look pathetic. But what does it even matter? Every single fucking thing in the universe is pretty damn pathetic anyways.

           Mari’s grin grows wider, an eye winking at her in the back of Asuka’s head. “We’re partners in crime Princess. You can hate me all you want to, but we’re partners for life. Or would it suit you if you didn’t have my support anymore? You could go back to being a lone wolf like old times.”

           Asuka closes her eyes, leaning her head back into the chair. “It’d be a hell lot quieter.”

           She can imagine Mari eyes spark with amusement. “Or perhaps, you would do me the pleasure of keep being my partner, hm? I’ve always volunteered to be your punching bag, and I know how much you like to take your anger out of me, I’ve always had a first class seat for it.”

           Opening her eyes, Asuka opens her mouth to change the subject, but nothing leaves her mouth. _Why am I even worried about changing the subject, I’m not even talking to anyone._

           “Aw, anyone? That kind of hurts my poor feelings.” She whines, a smile creeping onto her face. “But you’re the red-haired Princess, you’re the Royal Highness who has the power.” Asuka feels her cheeks warm, memories of the past sneaking into her thoughts. “My liege,” Mari jokes, bowing down.

           “You know four-eyes, that goddamn brat and his fucking doll is still alive, how about that?” She says, quick on her tongue to change, going towards wrath rather than something else.

           She can see the corners of Mari’s lips turn, her eyebrow twitching with pleasure. “Oh? That takes skill, you should be impressed that we’re all alive from this entire war.”

           “I could have killed him with my own hands when I picked up him, he’s so pathetic, so goddamn fucking pathetic. It’s sickening to my own eyes to even look at him. He almost killed everyone, almost killed everything just to get his fucking way, almost kille-“

           Asuka pauses, her eyes wide just as she realized what she was about to say. Gritting her teeth, she bites down on her tongue feeling blood dance across her teeth, the pain barely bothering her at all. She can see Mari’s eyes brow twitching upwards, desperately wanting to her the finished sentence, but Asuka doesn’t.

           “That would never happen,” she mutters, looking down at the floor, her eyes softening. Asuka smacks her lips together, red blood smearing over her bottom lip. There’s a devil’s grin on her lips as she raises her face, her blue eyes beaming at Mari, who’s still laying down, still and soundless. The deep darkness the blue holds lingers inside Asuka’s mind, only coming out when it’s time to play. “You made a promise to me four-eyes, and you better keep it.”

           She can feel Mari’s smile in the back of her head, her rare genuine smile, Asuka can see it. “Oh trust me Princess, I don’t plan on breaking that promise anytime soon.”

-

           Two months equals sixty days. That’s the same amount as one thousand and sixty hours. Or even eighty-seven thousand six hundred and fifty-eight minutes.

           Her eyes slowly open, the light of her bedside lamp hitting her eyes. Her head is turned, laying on its right side. Blinking, she feels her left eye’s weaker than her right, flinching at the movement of her neck. Raising her head, she glances around the room, her head feeling a bit fuzzy.

           Sighing, she lays her head back down, her looking up at the ceiling. She breathes in a long breath through her mouth only to let it slowly through her nose. Finally, after silent and meaningless minutes, she turns towards the left.

           “Have you been giving me the royal treatment, Princess?” Mari says, a soft smile on her lips. She doesn’t meet Asuka’s eyes and Asuka doesn’t meet hers. Though it’s not like Mari can see her clearly, she doesn’t have her glasses.

           Asuka doesn’t say anything, only trying to focus on calming her rapid breaths. _She’s awake, I can hear her voice, she’s here._ She stares at the ground with content, feeling her heartbeat quickly thump inside her chest.

           Mari chuckles softly, a hint of a smirk on her face. “On my behalf, you were the one who ordered me to go and get the boy. Also, I didn’t think I was, you know, hit that badly,” she protests, her hands holding up defensively.

           “You sure took your long ass time waking the hell up,” Asuka spits out, her words coming out easily.

           Mari grins and opens her eyes to gaze at Asuka. “We both need some time to wake up Princess. Now that I’m awake, it should almost be about your time.”

           The chair hits the wall with a loud thud before Mari even blinks, her eyes gaping at Asuka. There’s no reaction from Mari, nothing surprises her anymore. Even without her glasses, Asuka’s close enough for Mari to see her. She’s on her feet, her hands clenched at her sides. “Stop it,” she growls, her voice low and cold.

           “Hm? Stop what?”

           Asuka doesn’t say anything, but she stands still and silent. Mari doesn’t say anything else, she knows just when to push things, but she continues to stare at Asuka, her eyes tearing her apart. It’s only after a minute or two before Asuka has control over herself and say something. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

           She licks her lips, carefully choosing her next few words. “The truth hurts sometimes, but it’s better than living a lie and I’d rather you live with the truth.” Mari states, the words rolling off her tongue with ease, her voice calm. She takes her eyes of Asuka and looks back up at the ceiling, her eyes counting the number of tiles.

           She’s filling Asuka’s head with pathetic comments, only adding silly remarks. Asuka bites her lip. “Well your thoughts about me don’t really matter, and what truth are you even talking about?”

           Mari winces at the comment, her teeth gritting against each other. “After fourteen years together, you’re still going to say that?”

           Asuka narrows her eyes at her, taking side comment of it. “Don’t dodge the question, I want a goddamn answer.”

           “And I don’t have an answer for you, Princess, “she softly says, smiling sly when their eyes meet. Neither of them budges to look away, and Asuka hates feeling so vulnerable when talking to Mari, she can easily tear her apart.

           “That’s a bunch of bullshit.” Her hands are on Mari’s gown collar within seconds, pulling her forward, their face inches apart. Mari lets out a quiet laugh, meeting her eyes, but slowly looks down – on her lips. Asuka releases a low grunt from the back of her throat, her body roaring with heat and her eyes cutting into the soul through Mari’s eyes, determined to keep them locked on them, rather than down below, on Mari’s lips.

           Even so, Mari has spent fourteen years with her. They’ve been through this hundreds of times, and she knows just how to respond to this. Mari’s eyes are looking up at her, they’re hinting of dark joy, her grin widening even more. “Just wake up, simple as it is Princess.” She says, shrugging her shoulders.

           Asuka rolls her eyes. _Stop telling me that, you idiot._

           She’s becoming frustrated with Mari more by each passing second. Asuka’s hands tighten, the fabric of Mari’s gown stretching. _Do you want to be beaten?_

           “If you’d just calm down for once, maybe you’d get the gist of things around here.” Mari adds only making Asuka clench her teeth.

           Her wrists are suddenly grabbed my Mari, her grip slow and weak, but Asuka made sure never to underestimate Mari’s strength and tactics. “This is futile, I am calm.” Her words spits out with frustration. She leans backwards letting go of the collar, but Mari doesn’t, her grip becoming firm, a hint of stinging shoots up Asuka’s arms.

           “Calm down, Princess.” She repeats, her voice quiet.

           Asuka lets out a quiet curse. _Stop it!_

           Next thing that’s happening is something they both haven’t experienced in a while. Mari’s hands are pinned above her head, a knee at her neck, and Asuka sitting on top of her, Mari laying on her back, pinned down. She makes a muffled noise and moves her neck into a more comfortable position. She doesn’t care if Mari just woke up from a coma, they’ve both been off duty for a good amount of time to let their bodies’ rest, so they should be just fine.

           Asuka needs this anyways, needs to feel the adrenaline of combat again, and there’s no one better to do this with than with her own partner. “Tell me one more time to calm down, and I’m going to pu-“

           Asuka’s eyes widen as she realizes the pure excitement and pleasure in her eyes as Mari raises her leg to kick Asuka off of her chest. Asuka begins to lean forward, an advantage for Mari as Asuka’s caught off guard. She loses her tight grip around Mari’s wrists, giving the chance for Mari to switch places with her. Asuka’s thrown onto her right side, but as said, she delivers a swift punch at her face, but that only makes Mari laugh. They’re both fumbling on the hospital bed, their legs tangled with each other, a regular fight they would both have.

            _Thump thump._

            There’s heavy pants coming from the both of them as they settle down, Asuka’s heart rushing with anger and Mari’s heart rushing with delight. Asuka’s now looking up at Mari, annoyance filling up her entire body. After several minutes of rest to the both of them, Asuka begins to struggle, but Mari stops her by twining their hands together and pinning them above Asuka’s head. She scoots her body up forward so she’s sitting right above Asuka’s chest, knowing exactly how to play with her.

            Gritting her teeth together, Asuka struggles once again, desperately trying to get back to her feet, but Mari’s larger figure holds her down, pins her down. Licking her lips, Mari begins to wiggle her lower body only making Asuka release a heavy breath.

            “Is this really necessary?”

            “If it helps you calm down, I’ll do anything Princess.”

            _Tch._

           Mari narrows her eyes but also has the sly hint of a smile on her face, and leans down into Asuka’s neck, her lips softly brushing the skin of her cheek. Asuka widens her eyes, her heartbeat racing as she feels the heat of her breath against the skin. Curling the ends of her toes, Asuka clenches her teeth and lets out a quiet breath. She’s too busy focusing on calming down her body– her mind to struggle against her anymore, and Mari doesn’t realize just how much that can set Asuka on edge, just her hot breath, and _oh._

           Asuka has to bite her tongue.

           She smiles against her skin, her mouth tracing the outline of her cheeks. Mari lowers her mouth sinking farther, gently grazing her neck. Asuka can feel Mari’s lips against her ear, making Asuka bite down harder. Softly, two words leave her mouth, and immediately, Asuka’s eyes widen.

-

           “It’s been more than two weeks after everything Mari, go to your own room and sleep. You’ve been here for at least two days straight. I understand she's your partner, but you still need to do tests with your EVA. You were out for two days after the Fourth Impact, and you haven't been in since.”

           “Correction, it’s actually been three days and don't worry, I’m mentally healthy for synchronizing.”

           “Mari, go to your room.” Misato softly orders.

           “Oh please, I’m completely fine, really. You know, maybe I can hop into her bed and sleep with her, I don’t think she’ll mind it.” Mari laughs, ignoring advice like always. She hated hearing Misato’s voice, hearing anyone else’s voice beside hers.

           “Alright, well the damage in her brain disappeared a few days ago, she should be up and going soon.”

           A door is slammed shut, and a heavy sigh is released beside her.

           Asuka slowly opens her eyes, a cough coming out from the back of her throat. She raises her head, groaning and blinking as she stares around the room. She’s in a hospital bed, she realizes.

           Mari’s on her feet at the side of her bed, her eyes gleaming at her.

           Asuka’s eyes soften, carefully looking up at her, but quickly narrows as she observes her partner. Mari chuckles, bringing Asuka back to her senses, then it’s there. It hits her.

           Mari’s leaning her head on the rail, tilted as she shows a gentle smile. “You finally woke up.”

**Author's Note:**

> i don't even know what's happening half of the time, but i made it through it!
> 
> also, making it clear, Asuka's the one suffering and everything happened in her head, yah, way to be mentally crazy Asuka


End file.
